Insomnia
by The Madhatter2
Summary: Jack ponders the scars that his past with Irina left him with.


bInsomia/b By: The Madhatter Disclaimer: Don't own 'em and never will. I just enjoy using them for my own weird purposes. Author's note: This was written a WHILE ago and I just found it on my comp one day. I figured it was pretty good according to my standards. which you'll prolly see isn't that high. :P I hope you guys enjoy this.  
  
Darkness.loneliness. emptiness.  
  
White walls, stark, bare, and cold. A lone chair stood in the middle of the empty room save a long black table a few feet in front of it. Three chairs sat behind the table facing the lone chair. A man in his thirties sat in the lone chair handcuffed and ankle-cuffed to it. Footsteps were heard coming down from the hall. The door opened and two men and one woman sat down in the three chairs, each person holding a black folder containing important information.  
  
"Hello, Mr. Bristow. I am Agent Yale," he pointed to the man to his right, "this is Agent Ricks," Yale pointed to the woman at his left, "and this is Agent Bronx. We are with the FBI and were wondering if we could ask you some questions. Of course you have the right to obtain a lawyer and this meeting will end."  
  
"What do you want?" The man in handcuffs asked stiffly.  
  
"I take it you don't want a lawyer."  
  
"If I did, I would have called for one long ago."  
  
"Very well then, Mr. Bristow." Yale flipped through the file. "Is Laura Bristow your wife?"  
  
"It says right there in your file."  
  
"Please answer the question."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"How did you first meet?"  
  
"How is that relevant to this?"  
  
"Please, Mr. Bristow, we need to hear this in your own words. I promise you, this will have a point later on." Bronx said holding a pen her hand. "Now please answer the question." She added sternly.  
  
"We met on a plane years ago. I was on a CIA mission to go and meet with one of my contacts. She happened to sit next to me and we became acquainted with one another."  
  
"Did you have any suspicions at all?"  
  
"No. We just met. She seemed like a regular college professor going away for some training."  
  
"So, you suspected nothing at all."  
  
"She seemed normal enough."  
  
"During your marriage, did you suspect anything then?"  
  
"I suppose there were some signs, but I either ignored it or was too blind to see it."  
  
"Hmm, I see. You have a daughter, is that correct?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Tell me about her."  
  
"She was born in 1974. So, she's around seven years old right now." Jack's face seemed to light up as he thought about her. "She's a normal little girl with no idea who her parents really are. She has friends at school and in the neighborhood. She's a good girl."  
  
"So, she has no idea that you work for the CIA?"  
  
"She's only seven years old. She wouldn't understand. Speaking of which, I need to go home. Sydney is at school right now and is waiting to be picked up. I don't have all day."  
  
"You have all the time you need. You are being held under directive 81.a. which states that you can be held without trial for as long as your life if necessary."  
  
"What?"  
  
"That's right, Mr. Bristow. You are prisoner of the government until stated otherwise." "For what?"  
  
"Being in collusion with a traitor."  
  
Jack sat up in bed. Sweat dripped down the side of his face, eyes wide open with fear. No. not again. It has been years. years since that awful incident. Every night since then, he had not been able to get the proper amount of sleep. He normally stayed up as long as he could, indulging himself in work not wanting the nightmares to return. The ghosts of his past haunted him daily. He had learned how to live with most of them but then there were those that he couldn't. So, night after night, they would constantly plague his dreams as if they couldn't get enough.  
  
He slowly crawled out of bed and opened the window. The cool night breeze brushed against his face. It reminded him of when Laura would brush her hands against his face as he slept peacefully after a hard day at work. He shook his head to get rid of the memory. No, not another one. He went downstairs and grabbed a glass of water. Hopefully that would calm him down and ease his pains. He took a sip but quickly put it down. He decided he needed something stronger and grabbed some whiskey. He quickly downed one glass. The burning sensation still didn't get rid of the monsters living in his memory. He glanced at the clock. 3:48 AM.  
  
I"Jack, wake up. Jack. Jack!"  
  
He looked up and groaned. "What?"  
  
"You're late to work."  
  
"What?" He exclaimed bolting out of bed.  
  
"Here. I have your clothes all prepared for you." Laura said as she handed him his clothes as he tried to brush his teeth at the same time. "You must have had a long night last night. You never sleep in."  
  
"Yeah, I did." He said while brushing his teeth. "Devlin needed help with something."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Work. Nothing new." He finished dressing and brushing his teeth and hair. "Thanks." He kissed her on the cheek.  
  
"Here's your briefcase and your breakfast is on the table."  
  
"Thanks, but I really need to go."  
  
"Jack." She said as she glared at him.  
  
"I'll go get my breakfast and say goodbye to Sydney." He said defeated. "Bye." He quickly left the room and headed to Sydney's room. Maybe he could just slip by without getting breakfast. He was late enough as it was. He slowly opened the door and saw that she was happily sleeping with her stuffed teddy bear that he gave her from Thailand. He smiled and kissed her forehead. He almost made it out of the front door when Laura called him.  
  
"Jack."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
She walked over and kissed him. After they broke apart, she handed him a piece of buttered toast. "Part of your breakfast that you conveniently forgot. Have a nice day."/I  
  
Jack sighed. The good old days. Life was so innocent back then. Or so it seemed. He finished his third drink and poured another one. He was running again. Running like the coward he was. Running from the past, his dreams, nightmares, the future. His mind was racing with all those happy memories and all those unpleasant ones.  
  
I"Were you allied with Laura Bristow at all in any way?"/I  
  
He threw his glass against the wall and it shattered on contact. The liquid that was in the glass splashed against the wall and left a stain. How dare they. How dare they accuse him of that. He would never betray his country. Never. They had insulted him and broken him. Locked him up in solitary confinement never to see the light of day again. Never to see his only daughter again.  
  
The glass was just lying there on the hardwood floor shimmering in the moonlight. He glanced at the clock. 3:50 AM. Only two minutes had passed. Time was going by slowly. Why couldn't it just hurry up so he could go to work and leave behind all those demons? He would rather face Sloane a billion times than to sit here and dwell on the subject of his wife or the past.  
  
Damn her. Damn Laura for doing this to him. Did she know what would happen when she left? Did she know what kind of man Jack Bristow would become? What would she care? She never loved him in the first place. It was all just a set up. He could end up dead in an alley way for all she cared. She wouldn't care if he was broken or if Sydney died. She never loved either of them. She only did it to get information on Project Christmas whatever the hell that was. He couldn't remember at the moment. What did it matter anyway?  
  
I"Please state the officer by name."  
  
"Officer Jonathan Donahue Bristow."/I  
  
The way she said her name sent shivers down his spine. It was so cold and so prideful. Yeah, that's right. I'm the one who broke the Great Jack. That's right. I, Irina Derekvo, brought down the greatest human of all! That was the way he seemed to read it. But what really scared him the most was that she used to say it in the warmest way possible. The way she used to say it just to aggravate him. Jack hated his full name. Jonathan Donahue? What the hell kind of name was that? He preferred Jack.  
  
I"Jonathan, have a nice day." She said with a wink.  
  
"It's Jack." He gritted. "Jack Bristow."  
  
She laughed. "Oh, but Jonathan is such a nice name."  
  
"I don't care. It's Jack, Ms. Bristow."  
  
She laughed again. "I'm just kidding. I just love how you get all riled up when I use your full name. I love you, Jack."/I  
  
I love you. Ha. That was the joke of the day. All those times she said 'I love you' meant nothing. It was said just to satisfy him. How heartless could a person be?  
  
I"Every night for ten years I went through his briefcase. I eavesdropped on all of his private conversations. I planted listening devices on this clothing. He was blinded by his emotions. He knew nothing. I can tell you one thing: Jack Bristow was a fool."/I  
  
Ten years. For ten fucking years, she deceived him. Ten years. To think that life could be any worse and it just is. He slammed the window open and let the wind whip his face. He wanted to scream. Scream so loud that the whole world could hear it. He wanted to get out of this hell of a life that was placed upon him. Why him? Why was he chosen?  
  
He shook his head. No. He wasn't going to be a victim of betrayal. He has seen enough to last him a lifetime. He has lasted through life and death situations. He was the top officer in his department. Nothing got past Jack Bristow. It was even an honor if he even said hi to someone in the morning. But yet he was a fool. Deceived by his own wife. Some wife she turned out to be.  
  
He had turned around almost 360 degrees. A completely different person. He had become cold and emotionless. He wasn't stupid, he learned from his mistakes. Emotions, he decided, were just a liability. Emotions had cost him his heart and soul. Emotions had caused him to become blind. He was going to fix it; he was going to make everything right.  
  
So, he threw himself into his work forgetting the only other important thing in his life. His daughter. He didn't completely forget her, no, he couldn't. He just stayed away afraid of what might happen if he stuck around too long. Afraid that she might get dragged into his mess, his double life that he created.  
  
In the end, his second life, his spy life, had taken over the once kind and spirited young man. He was a statue as people liked to describe it. Someone that wouldn't budge and cold and hard as a rock. The world could crash down around him and he would still stand tall. A war could take place that very second and he would be the last man standing with a couple of minor injuries. Nothing could stop him from achieving his goal of conquering the past. He would show Laura or was it Irina now? No matter. He would show her what he could become. He would show her that he could over come anything that came in his path. He would show her what she created and see if she gave a damn because he knew that he didn't.  
  
It was time Jack Bristow became known. 


End file.
